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Journal of
eISSN: 2373-6445

Psychology & Clinical Psychiatry

Perspective Special Issue The Psychological Basis of Caring Connections

Finding Our True Soul Family: A Key to Inner Alchemy

Barry Hammer

The University of Maine, USA

Correspondence: Barry hammer, The University of Maine, 15 Downeast Terrace, Apt. 2 Orono, Maine (ME) 04473, USA, Tel 207-866-3223

Received: January 06, 2016 | Published: January 8, 2016

Citation: Hammer B (2016) Finding Our True Soul Family: A Key to Inner Alchemy. J Psychol Clin Psychiatry 5(1): 00243. DOI: 10.15406/jpcpy.2016.05.00243

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Our individual life energy form feels inwardly empty, deficient, dissatisfied, restless, until it is filled with the relational energy substance of life as love by connecting in empathic vibratory attunement to other individuals whose distinctive energy pulse naturally seems highly compatible with or closely related to our own, so that we naturally experience (not necessarily fully consciously) an intuited sense of inner familiarity and belonging with them. The energy heart or core level of our being, or our individual life energy form, experiences exile or estrangement from our true ground of being as the relational reality of love and life energy substance until we connect or “come home” to individuals who are naturally related to us as members of the same soul family network, sharing closely related functions, contributions, capabilities, talents, gifts, destinies, archetypal (timeless) blueprints, or purposive patterns for the whole web of life.

Many of our energies and abilities remain dormant, latent, inaccessible to us until they are elicited by contributing to the discovery and further development of previously hidden energies and talents in others. Discovering a sublime energy pulse in another individual and/or in phenomena of nature arouses the intrinsic sublime grandeur of our own being, through a quasi “magnetic” process of vibratory resonance, functioning like a process of inner alchemy.

Individuals who naturally belong to the same extended soul family often experience, not necessarily fully consciously, an intuited sense of inner familiarity, belonging, and deep attraction with one another, involving compatible, resonating, or mutually amplifying energy vibrations. Those compatibly resonating energy vibrations exert a kind of “magnetic” pull on the inner core being of individuals who come in contact with their soul family members, producing amplification of sublime qualities of their own being, the “dance”, “song”, and “story” of their spiritual heart and soul, so that they literally feel more alive, joyful, insightful, and creatively empowered when in significant contact with one another.

Many of our natural talents, abilities, and insights are best aroused in caring empathic communion and unselfish service of other individuals, especially those with whom we experience a natural sense of inner affinity as part of the same soul family. What is genuine and sublime in us is naturally evoked by relating and contributing to the further development of what is experientially real and truly grand in others, because many of our natural gifts or proclivities are inherently contextual or relational in orientation, just as individual letters of the alphabet derive their significance from how they combine with one another into words, sentences, paragraphs, and books, and do not have much significance in isolation; and just as magnets can be energized by one another, but cannot energize or amplify themselves in solitary isolation from each other. The sublime, grand, or noble qualities and creative abilities that we detect and evoke in others arouse similar gifts in us, through a process of vibratory resonance. As long as we remain narcissistically, proudly, selfishly self-absorbed, our sublime energies and the deeper blessed potentials, gifts, talents, or abilities embedded in them remain dormant, latent, recoiled, inaccessible to us, whereas when we unselfishly share our energies, talents, and gifts or expressions of genuine caring with others, those energies are “magnetically” aroused, amplified, and further developed in ourselves as well.

Like pure, clear, undistorted mirrors and prisms, we and our loved ones reflect back to one another a true vision of greater development, fruition, or actualized potentials of enhanced levels of peak experiencing, peak performing, and peak productivity. We exalt, glorify, or ennoble ourselves, one another, and our unifying Life Source by relating as the best version of ourselves and thereby evoking the best version of one another. (See Isaiah 60:21; 61:3) Evoking the best in one another involves taking responsibility for our own shadow work (i.e., consciously acknowledging, transmuting, and integrating conflicted, antagonistic, problematic, or “negative” aspects of ourselves) and holding our loved ones accountable to do the same. That is how psychologically healthy interpersonal relationships facilitate a process of inner alchemy, involving healing “wounded” aspects of ourselves, outgrowing unhealthy fixations and illusions, and growing in the further development of what is genuine, constructive, and exalting in ourselves.

Deeply invested experiential connection or energetic attunement between individuals who experience a close sense of natural affinity of being can bring greater contact with the relational substance level of love-life energy, a relatively more centripetal or unifying level of energy beyond the predominantly centrifugal or divisive level of life energy form. That relational energy substance is like warm sunshine, an invigorating tonic or elixir, which helps our individual core to open up from the inside, like the blossoming of a beautiful flower, in contrast to the self-absorbed ego, self-enclosed, even self-imprisoned in its own narcissistic shell, like a seed that has not yet sprouted. Like bumble bees pollinating beautiful flowers, drawing forth maple syrup, or like gardeners carefully tending fruit bearing trees, we are eliciting the essential beauty, fragrance, sweetness, and blessed enchantment of one another’s being. When we open our energy-heart and thereby connect deeply to others, then the sublime energy of our core flows more substantially into the surface level of our person in the world, and thereby becomes more abundantly manifested and further developed, like the sweet sap of a plant blossoming into flowers, fruits, or syrup when exposed to warm sunshine and other nutrients.

Like a collaborative treasure hunt, we are joining together to discover and further develop the sublime treasures or inner resources of our being and of reality as a whole. Together we follow the scent or aroma of true goodness, greatness, or sublime beauty to its source in overflowing fullness or fully blessed wholeness of being. The energy of true love or deep genuine caring that flows between soul family members is like a pure fuel that releases the many splendored flame of Divine Love to flow from its hidden reservoir source in Mystery and become more tangibly manifested, developed, and amplified through us. Sublime grandeur qualities such as, joy, beauty, sweetness, blessedness, enchantment, and true wisdom or creative insight are all rooted in the intuited experience of fully vibrant, regenerative, radiant, refreshing, satisfying, and attractive, life energy in the prime, just as the many colors of the spectrum or rainbow have their unifying source in pure clear light. When we deeply connect to our natural soul family loved ones, our core being energy centers feel fully “turned on” or accelerated to an optimal vibratory pulse of energy in the prime, so that we feel fully alive, refreshed, satisfied, secure, and sublime, as a limitless grandeur, exceeding all knowable measurements. We and our loved ones help one another to feel more exalted, by eliciting the highest or best possible version of ourselves, which is the achievement of our imago or intended optimal development, where our individual and relational energy field ascends above the vibratory speed pulse of light and is therefore fully regenerative, incorruptible, secure, in the flow of optimal wellbeing.

Our energy-heart finds its true home only in the hearts of our soul family and in the Great Heart of Divine Love that connects us to one another because the relational energy of love amplifies the sublime grandeur qualities that are embedded in our own individual being. The deepest energy patterns of our own being often remain dormant until touched and excited by contact with a loved one’s distinctive energy pulse that seems highly compatible with our own, like a phonograph needle releasing musical patterns embedded in a phonograph disk, or like pleasing foods evoking exalted vibratory patterns embedded in our taste buds. Sharing our caring energy and talents with our loved ones enhances our experience of being an inherent wholeness and overflowing fullness of being, whereas selfish self-seeking reflects and further magnifies a sense of inner paucity or deficiency of being, like trying to cover over a bottomless inner emptiness through insatiable demands.

The relational energy dance that empathically attunes us to one another leads us to the full embrace, the full Oneness that is the Supreme Source of everything that we naturally seek as part of the experience of optimal attractiveness, satisfaction, wholeness, overflowing fullness or abundance, vibrancy, and self-consistent integrity of being. We view our soul family loved ones as having intrinsic, unconditional value or preciousness, rather than valuing or loving them only conditionally, because we are attuned to the energy pulse of love, which is naturally sufficient unto itself, needing nothing outside of itself for an experience of wholeness and optimal wellbeing. By serving the discovery and further development of what is of true and enduring value in one another, we thereby enhance what is of true value in ourselves and in reality as a whole.

Individuals, who belong to the same soul family, or similar related soul families, may or may not share the same birth family, ethnic culture, nationality, religion, socioeconomic status, life history background, and outlook. For any ethnic, national, civic, religious, or other group to remain enduringly, viably cohesive in its basic sense of identity, narrative, and common purpose, it must be infused with a genuine, or at least plausible, sense of having a unifying soul or spiritual energy and common purpose that unites its individual members together, as a natural sense of inner affinity or intrinsic relatedness of being. If that sense of natural relatedness of being is experienced as being rooted in the very core or deepest essence of its individual members and of an intrinsically valuable reality or cause that they are serving together, then that commonly shared sense of identity and purpose can serve as a strongly, enduringly cohesive force of “unity in diversity” and “diversity in unity”, epitomized” by the Latin phrase, “E Pluribus Unum.”

We can experience great joy by exploring and discovering how every individual who we truly love and deeply connect to is, truly, beautiful and precious in their own very special way, not exactly identical to other individuals in terms of the sublime qualities of energy-presence, as well as lovely products and expressions, that manifest through them, each revealing the many-splendored goodness and glory of reality in their own distinctive, relatively unique manner. Our encounter even with the same individual is not exactly the same from moment to moment, enabling us to always evoke, discover, and nurture somewhat different aspects and versions of ourselves. As we evoke and nurture the best versions of one another, and share the best versions of ourselves, while also taking responsibility to compassionately heal relatively “wounded,” conflicted, or disturbed aspects of self and one another, we contribute to the continued advancement of humanity, life, or reality as a whole, through the varied gifts or revelations that emerge from our encounters. Like a great feast, we feed and are fed energy by one another from the depths of our being, thereby releasing many “flavors”, wild intoxicating “juices”, “hues”, “tones”, “textures”, and “aromas” of grandeur to savor, many treasures to discover in and through one another. We are naturally being the sacred dance of life that flows through us, between us, around us, beyond us, which also includes our own relatively independent dance of energy expression and experience.

Dr. Barry Hammer offers personal life coaching and interpersonal relationship advising to help people better understand and transform for the better themselves, their personal relationships, and society. If interested, please contact him at his email address, mhbj58@gmail.comAnyone who wishes to read more of Dr. Barry Hammer’s inspirational/transformational insights should see his two published books, 1) Psychological Healing Through Creative Self-Understanding and Self-Transformation. (ISBN: 978-1-62857-075-5) and 2) Deepening Your Personal Relationships: Developing Emotional Intimacy and Good Communication. (ISBN: 978-1-61897-590-4). The primary author is Dr. Max Hammer, with contributions from secondary authors Dr. Barry J. Hammer and Dr. Alan C. Butler. These books can be purchased from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or our author/publisher website, The latter website also posts other blogs by Dr. Barry Hammer, and describes the books and authors.

Recommended readings

  1. Martin Buber I, Thou (2nd edn), translated by Ronald Gregor Smith. Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York, 1958.
  2. Martin Buber The Way of Response. In: Nahum Glazer (Ed.), Schocken Books, New York, 1966.
  3. Arielle Ford WabiSabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. Harper One, an Imprint of Harper Collins, New York, 2012.
  4. Debbie Ford The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams. Riverhead Books, New York, 2010.
  5. Erich Fromm The Art of Loving. Harper Collins Publishers, New York, 2006.
  6. Max Hammer (with Barry Hammer and Alan C. Butler) Deepening Your Personal Relationships: Developing Emotional Intimacy and Good Communication. Strategic Book Publishing and Rights Agency Company, Houston Texas, USA, 2014.
  7. Jiddu Krishnamurti On Love and Loneliness. The Krishnamurti Foundation of America, Ojai, California, USA, 1993.
  8. Lynne Mc Taggart The Bond: Connecting Through the Space Between Us. Free Press, New York, 2011.
  9. Abraham Maslow The Furthest Reaches of Human Nature. Penguin Compass/Arkana, USA, 1993.
  10. Abraham Maslow Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences. Penguin Books, USA, 1994.
  11. Abraham Maslow Toward a Psychology of Being. (2nd edn), Van Nostrand Reinhold Company, USAl, 1968.
  12. Milton Mayeroff On Caring. Perennial Library, Harper and Row, New York 1971.
  13. John O’Donohue Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. Cliff Street Notes, an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers, New York, 1997.
  14. Hugh Prather, Gayle Prather I will never Leave You: How Couples Can Achieve the Power of Lasting Love. Bantam Books, New York, 1996.
  15. Sue Paton Thoele Heart Centered Marriage: Fulfilling Our Natural Desire for Sacred Partnership. Conari Press, Berkeley, California, USA, 1996.
  16. Roger Walsh N, Frances Vaughan Beyond Ego: Transpersonal Dimensions in Psychology. JP Tarcher, Los Angeles, USA, 1980.



Conflicts of interest

The authors declare that there is no conflict of interest.

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©2016 Hammer. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and build upon your work non-commercially.